This week, we're delighted to bring you a hugely thought-provoking View from the Top by Andrew Murfin, deputy head co-curricular at Bryanston School. Below, Mr Murfin looks at the very relevant topic of gender stereotypes – and explains how and why his school isn't shying away from talking about the issues that matter...
As educators, we are in a privileged position to stand alongside our pupils in their journey to adulthood. At Bryanston, , we aim to develop pupils with the character and confidence to push open doors and make a difference on the other side. What lays at the other side is changing constantly so adaptability, understanding and courage are important qualities to foster.
Today’s ‘Generation CUB’ pupils, have had their formative years punctuated with Covid lockdowns, the Ukrainian conflict and Brexit. Add to that: the flux around the monarchy with the death of the longest-serving monarch and the recent Prince Harry revelations; the climate emergency; and the state of the economy. These are challenging times for us all, but the youth of today have grown up through unprecedented events that will continue to shape modern Britain. While living in a state of emergency and with less ‘real-world experience’ to draw upon than adults, it’s not surprising that studies are reporting children’s mental health issues and anxiety are on the climb.
Working at a school that champions individual spirit, I am mindful of not generalising about the experiences of a whole generation of children. Although disruptive events will have an impact on the generations that live through them, our identity and how we think are ours to shape.
The zeitgeist of this current generation will also be defined by wars in the cultural landscape too. In terms of gender politics - huge strides have been made regarding the ‘#MeToo’ and ‘Everyone’s Invited’ movements. As well as this, the legislation in Scotland to allow people to change their legally-recognised gender from 16 looks set to be battled out both in terms of the ethics of gender reforms and the interface between democracies in Scotland and Westminster.
Many schools haven’t shied away from gender discussions. That’s certainly the case in my own school where a Houseparent of a junior boys’ house has written about toxic masculinity and, like a number of other schools around the country, we are partnering with Bold Voices to learn more about gender inequality and cultures of gender-based violence. Indeed, our term started with whole-school initiative, led by Dr Elly Hanson, on the negative cultural impact of pornography, which will inform the content of our PSRE programme. Michael Conroy from Men at Work also led some staff training recently on engaging in constructive dialogue with boys around gender issues.
Some of this can be uncomfortable for boys. The vast majority of whom live positive values, so could feel persecuted for displaying masculine traits. The linking of ‘male’ on the sex binary, with ‘masculine’ on the gender binary doesn’t have to equate to toxic. Indeed, there are many positive masculinities that we should encourage – in boys and girls and those elsewhere on the gender spectrum.
If wider society has been telling our boys to be masculine and to follow gender stereotypes such as, in simple terms, boys wear blue and girls wear pink, but then demonise certain masculinities, then there’s a real risk they will feel rudderless.
The rise (and fall?) in popularity of Andrew Tate is a warning some boys are feeling a reduction in their spaces. Misogynistic influencers build a narrative that boys are the victims, and they use powerful algorithms to pray on these vulnerabilities to turn clicks into money. This is dangerous as it leads into spaces which propagate more hateful and toxic gender-based material. Locking him up and banning him from social media have been responses to the Andrew Tate problem – a discussion over whether this is a crime of violating free speech or a crime of negativity influencing, is not for here. Regardless of his social positioning we need to engage with the reasons underpinning his popularity. This will help us to break down the discussion before reassembling the narrative into what it is to be male.
Continuing the colour analogy, the saying “real men wear pink”, suggests that men who feel comfortable in themselves will have the confidence to wear pink. i.e. a masculine anchor point may enable boys to venture out of the harbour into feminine waters. We see this in the highlighting of masculine traits in traditionally femininely ascribed activities that help boys engage in them. Providing safe spaces for our boys to discuss and engage with feminine masculinities enables those behaviours and characteristics to become part of the construct of what it is to be male – unbounded thinking.
As a PE Teacher, and one whose MA degree focused on the role of co-curricular activities in gender identity formation, the gender-appropriations around sports has long been of interest. At a former school, to be at the vanguard of the transition to coeducation following 400 years of all-boys education was fascinating. As one of the early pioneers in transitioning to coeducation, Bryanston is that much further forward but there still needs to be a clear focus and determination to nurture a positive culture that will enhance gender dynamics.
In academic literature, gender appropriations for various sports exist; with some sports classified as feminine, some masculine and some gender neutral. The aesthetic qualities versus physical strength being a key component in those classifications. It’s the subsequent linking of those gender-ratings with different sexes that creates society’s stereotypes, and negative associations of individuals ‘queering’ or participating in cross-gender sports.
Again, huge strides have been made here with role models breaking those boundaries – male gymnasts and divers; female boxers and rugby players. Who can forget the Lionesses, who cleaned up at the BBC’s annual SPOTY awards over Christmas following their success at the Euros. On a more personal level, a family trip to the Emirates stadium (my daughter supports Arsenal) to watch a WSL match in front of a full house demonstrated not only a positive step forward but also tangible change.
I’m a firm believer that all sports and co-curricular activities should be open to all pupils. To that end, we are among a number of schools that are hosting a special conference on women in sport – Sport in Her Shoes. Among a host of topics relating to female maturation and sport, this event is paying particular attention to the menstrual cycle, female-centric nutrition, coaching girls and the female mindset. The overall aim is to learn about and tackle those challenges that women face in engaging with sport to ensure we continue to inspire, stimulate and liberate.
These are challenging times, and complex issues to grapple with. We each have different views and move at different paces. That’s what makes us individual. And that’s why it’s so important to reflect the needs and interests of individuals during their formative years at school. In doing so, we help to free their spirits so they can love their minds and make a real difference in helping to create a more inclusive world.
Andrew Murfin